The Diary of U'mi Nona A'mar: a friend in NEED is a friend in DEED

well..
alot things happen lately
and i cant watched them straight to face and their eyes
my heart bleed so much

what is a friend to you?
i dont know..
because, it really hard for me
to totally accept new person in my life
yes..
im arrogant type..
i dont know how to make friend and relationship
im enjoying of alone world of me
im weird..
it really hard for me to share my heart with,
a year knowing friend..
it'll take alot of time for me to develop
those special feeling..
seriously..
which needed of minute to minute conversation,
and then,
i open up my heart
im a cold heart woman..

yet,
im appreciate once i love them
im willingness to gave my heart and ears,
time and money
support and smile and laugh
when i loved them so much..
i valued them so much
because it hard for me to have it
......

a friend for me,
someone you can rely to
share with...
smile and warmhearted
feel belonging and hand in hand..
giggling the only thing we understand
never leave you for any reasons
keep the promises made
and forgive the mistake i've done

as the time flew by
it really unbelievable to see that i was at the end
journey with my long friend for 5 years..
diploma+bach.degree
at first three year
it s really a happy moment for me
i love them so much
they spirited me in my study
i do very excellent in my result and performance
my heart was filled
and i was never lonely
smiling is the cloud of my day
accompany me
everywhere i go..

at the 2 years end..
everything change
my world never be the same as diploma..
i lost my smiling sky..
i was under pressure..
the performance become so bad
and i crying in silent
i smile for heartache
and pretending of laughing..
still..
im praying the moment for us
as before..
it really warm me up
even though it only take a nanosecond moment of us
it enough to make me smiling all day long...

for the last moment of our memories...
at this 3.44am in 14/05/2010
at the end of our bachelor degree
i really wanna them to know
U R NEVER BE REPLACE WITH OTHERS
the moment of us,
is like a treasure that ill never let them go...

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense